Surprise parties are often for very special occasions such as a 40th birthday,or a Golden Wedding anniversary. The person or couple being honored is probably expecting some kind of recognition so will be suspicious of any invitation. This means that the planning will have to be a coordinated, secret effort.
No planning should take place without agreement among people closest to those being honored. Never assume it is okay to go ahead and plan such a special celebration without checking with the immediate family. This might mean a spouse, adult children or parents. Even a significant other should consider the expectations of the person herself. Not everyone appreciates a surprise.
There are questions that have to be answered before any planning can be done.
- Is there agreement among immediate family and/or close friends that a surprise party is in order? These people should agree that this party will be the main celebration of this special occasion.
- Who is actually hosting this special celebration? Agree on the one person or couple who will coordinate the planning and make the final decisions.
- When will this event take place? Settle the date and time as early as possible.
- What kind of event should it be and what kind of venue? Focus is on the guests of honor and what they like to do. There are many options, such as a formal dinner for family and close friends in a private room in a restaurant, a pot luck barbecue at a friend’s cottage, or an open house for dessert at a church or community center.
- Who is responsible for making sure the guest of honor will be in attendance?
A successful surprise party requires much time and effort. The designated host coordinates all the tasks, delegating much of the actual work. This will not only share the workload, it will also allow others to feel they are contributing to the celebration.
Location for Surprise Celebration
Confirm a location for the agreed upon date and time. If there are difficulties in booking space, check back with the original group to make sure an alternate is acceptable all around.
Invitations for Surprise Party
Inviting people to a surprise party is more complicated than a regular invitation. Here are some points to consider.
- Make a guest list well ahead of time. Circulate to the few other people who are involved in decision making. Even if the decision is to have an open-house for all members of the church community or the seniors’ residence, there will still be a group of especially significant people who need an individual invitation.
- Collect all the mailing and email addresses needed. Double check for accuracy.
- Prepare invitations. Even if it is an informal event with email invitations, there still need to be attractive paper invitations for those who do not have email and as a keepsake.
- For a large, drop-in event, notices might be posted in various places the guest of honor will not see, indicating that ‘everyone is welcome’.
- The first words in any invitation or notice are ‘SURPRISE’ in bold letters.
- Double check the accuracy of the location,day, date,and a time that allows everyone to be ready before the guest of honor arrives.
- Indicate where to park inconspicuously.
- Indicate ‘best wishes only’ if it is a large gathering.
- Include an RSVP date and contact name and number or e-mail address. Stress the importance of a response.
- Distribute invitations at least four weeks before the party.
Gifts or Not for Surprise Party
If a large gathering is planned, invitations usually say ‘best wishes only’. However, there are options to consider.
- Collect money for a donation to a favorite charity in the name of the guest of honor.
- Video tape the party for a remembrance DVD.
- Collect money to buy something from a non-profit’s gift catalogue; for example, a goat or school supplies for a third world country. A nice card with a photo from the online catalogue could be presented.
- Close friends will probably give personal gifts anyway, but suggest not to do it at that time, especially if inviting a large group.
Suggestions That Make it Easy for Party to Be a Surprise
It is often difficult to actually get the person or couple being honored to the event. Here are a few ideas to overcome that.
- Dinner or afternoon tea in a public place where the guests of honor often go with friends.
- Gathering at the home of a good friend where it is easy to ‘lure’ the honoree.
- Pretend there is an event at a church or community center that they would usually attend anyway.
Food and Decorations
Whether the surprise party is a formal dinner at the country club or a barbecue in the neighborhood park, the food and decorations should focus on the person or couple being honored.
- Make sure their favorite food and drink are available.
- Decorate with memorabilia the highlights their lives.
- A corsage and boutonniere are always in style. A florist could even design informal, perhaps quirky ones for a barbecue or cottage party.
- If there are guests from different parts of the person’s life, it must be helpful to have name tags with a couple of words explaining the relationship to the guest of honor.
Keeping the Party a Surprise or Not
If it is an extra-special event such as a 50th wedding anniversary, and it is a more formal party, it is probably best to tell at least one of the couple a couple of weeks beforehand. Such a milestone probably warrants spa time and a new outfit so the people being honored feel at their best.
Even if it turns out that the guests of honor knew all about the plans, a good time will be had by all.
Constance Woloschuk - 30 years experience in management and organizational development; extensive volunteer work with faith-based organizations.
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