Preparing Single Seniors to Move into a Retirement Residence

Nov 15, 2011
Constance Woloschuk

Decision Made to Move to Retirement Residence - anissat

Many seniors have difficulty preparing for the move into a retirement residence. These suggestions will help the person who is providing support.

Usually when a single senior decides it is time to move into a retirement residence, she experiences a kaleidoscope of emotions. It is a difficult decision as it usually means acknowledging the need for more support.

The decision has been made. A room or suite is now reserved. What can a family member or friend do to support the senior in this move? There are practical steps to be taken, in addition to trying to understand and respond to the emotional turmoil of the time.

Information Needed Ahead of Time

Begin by gathering information that is important to guide the senior through both the emotional preparation and the packing for this move.

Size of place. Whether it is a room or a suite, find out the dimensions and layout in order to plan what will fit.
Storage options. Is there extra storage space available in the building? This helps decide what will be taken to the new place.
Services provided. Find out what services the senior has decided to access. This helps decide what needs to be taken. For example, is the home providing the bed linen and towels? Is there an iron and ironing board available?
Furniture. Does the residence provide the basic furniture or does the senior take her own? Make sure there are no misunderstandings about this.
Small appliances. What, if any, are allowed in the room or suite?
Pets. If the senior is taking a pet with her, it is important to check out the house rules. For example, what is the senior to do with kitty litter? Can the cat or small dog be walked through the lobby on the way out or is there a separate entrance?
Senior’s finances. Even if nothing else is known about the senior’s finances, it is important that the helper is sensitive to what the senior can afford. For example, can a proper mover be hired or do friends have to be gathered?
Identify the contacts in the retirement residence. Find out ahead of time who will open the service door and elevator for the movers and who will help dispose of empty boxes.

Make sure all the information is accurate and up-to-date. Confirm with residence management, if necessary.

Preparing and Packing for Senior's Move

Whether the senior and helper are packing themselves, or movers are going to do it, it is the senior herself who has to make the tough decisions about what to keep. This seems to be particularly difficult for someone recently widowed and/or who has no children to help.

First, there has to be a decision whether or not professional movers will be used. There are even professional relocators who specialize in moving seniors. Even if family or friends are going to handle the actual move, moving companies will often rent packing boxes. Or, comb the grocery and liquor stores in the area for a variety of boxes.

Here are some ideas on how to facilitate this process.

Start preparations as soon as possible. One month to prepare is a minimum for this kind of move.
Packing boxes and supplies. Bring in the boxes as needed, or break them down to pile in a corner so they are not overwhelming. Buy sealing tape and collect paper for wrapping breakables.
Organize belongings. Suggest to the senior that it might be helpful to decide what is going with her into the residence, what is going to be donated or given to someone special, and, if possible, what is going to be stored until she can make an unhurried decision over the next few months.
Offer options with pros and cons, but do not try to influence decisions unless asked. There are no rights or wrongs in this situation.
Advertise anything to be sold. Items for sale should be advertised as soon as possible.
The helper must be prepared to bite her tongue. Do not make assumptions. What is just a plastic cup to the niece might be the last tangible memory of that final trip the aunt and her late husband took to the Grand Ole Opry!
Do not rush. Take time to make decisions, without too much procrastination. Sort and pack for no more than a few hours at a time. Take breaks. Recognize there is much to think about.
Label boxes well. Use thick marker and write a summary of the contents of the box on the top and on the sides for easy identification.
Well ahead of time, arrange for utilities, television, and phone service to be disconnected and re-connected in the new place, and for mail to be forwarded.

The main objective is to keep the process moving forward at a comfortable pace.

The Actual Move to a Retirement Home

As the apartment or house empties, the senior might become more and more distressed and melancholy. It is helpful if the friend or relative is there as much as possible to support her through this time.

If possible, keep large items of furniture until move date, even if they are not going with the senior. It will make the place seem more livable. It is probably a good idea for someone to stay over the night before, both for emotional support and to be there first thing in the morning when it becomes busy.

Arrange for a final cleaning either by a friend or a cleaning service. This is not something the senior should have to worry about.

It is up to the senior whether she wants to be in the new place to welcome her belongings or if she would rather stay in the old place until everything is gone. Another option is that someone takes her out for a meal while the support person does the necessary set up and immediate unpacking in the new place.

The most important point in helping a senior make this kind of move is to allow her time and space to make decisions. Then, offer support for whatever she decides.